It beautifully reflects the emotional transformation that comes with motherhood, from carefree beginnings to the quiet strength it takes to juggle love, responsibility, and dreams. It explores the unspoken struggles of modern motherhood, capturing the silent sacrifices, fading laughter, and the resilience of a woman who continues to grow through it all. A relatable piece for every mother navigating life between chaos and care.
“Ma’am, I don’t think I’ll ever become like this…”
That’s what my colleague nervously said when I told her how I managed to pack for a sudden trip to Lucknow, complete a site visit, wash clothes, make lunch, get ready, and still leave on time… all in just 1.5 hours. And in that moment, I realized how far my journey into motherhood and responsibility has brought me.
She was stunned.
And I smiled and said,
“You’ll learn with time… especially when you don’t have any other option.”
But later, her words stayed with me.
Because I remember being that girl – carefree, clueless, and completely unprepared for how life, motherhood, and work would unfold.
There was a time I used to sleep till 10:30 a.m.
Food was served. Clothes were ready. I only had to study.
Yes, I helped my mom, but not regularly. I wasn’t responsible – because I didn’t have to be.
And my father? The most disciplined person I’ve known.
Up at 4:30 a.m., walk done, ready by 7:30 a.m., full of energy. He would lovingly tease me:
“Tu kabhi subah nahi uth payegi.”
And I’d laugh – because back then, I believed it too.
College passed in a blur of fun and learning.
Then came work – long hours, lessons, excitement.
I thought I was doing a lot.
But the truth? I only had to manage me.
Marriage changed the routine and slowly, motherhood began shaping my time, priorities, and energy in unexpected ways.”
I started cooking, managing household help, handling work, dinners, and daily chores. I felt “grown-up.”
But the real shift – the one that transformed me – happened with my son Rayan.
He was just two years old.
Every morning, he would cry as I left for work – tears in his eyes, arms stretched out.
And I… I had to leave.
Because the clock was ticking.
Because life doesn’t pause when your heart does.
That guilt – it lingered all day.
I used to wonder:
“Am I doing the right thing? Should I be home? Or am I giving up on myself?”
Choosing one felt like betraying the other.
But not choosing… felt heavier.
Then came my daughter.
Now it was two kids, one home, one career, and a thousand thoughts in my head.
Calls with parents got cut short.
Chats with friends? Rare.
And if I talk to you for more than a few minutes – know that you’re special.
There was a time I never missed a design exhibition – but motherhood often means putting passions on pause while still keeping them alive in small ways.
I try to keep up – reading online, researching during breaks.
But those big, exciting learning spaces? They’ve had to wait.
Social media makes it harder.
I see moms of 2-3 kids showing up perfectly online.
Thriving businesses, spotless homes, content flowing daily.
And I wonder, “How do they do it?“
I see design entrepreneurs creating, scaling, glowing…
And I ask, “What’s wrong with me?“
Maybe they’re real.
Maybe it’s curated.
Maybe their struggles are just behind the scenes, like mine.
Still, the question creeps in, “Why not me?“
I have so many dreams, ideas I’ve held in my heart for years.
I’ve never buried them.
I’ve only… placed them on hold.
Now, I’ve made a quiet promise to myself:
Even baby steps matter.
Even a small effort, done with love, still counts.
Because I didn’t start this journey with responsibilities.
I started with a dream.
And life doesn’t cancel that, it just rewrites the timeline.
Old friends often tell me,“You’ve changed. You don’t laugh like before.”
And they’re right.
I don’t laugh as loudly, as often.
Because now my mind is full with Meals, School timings, Deadlines, Emotions, Expectations.
But I haven’t lost myself.
I’ve grown into someone who carries many roles:
Mother. Wife. Daughter. Professional. Dreamer.
And yes, sometimes it’s overwhelming.
But I don’t feel guilty anymore.
Because this version of me stretched, tired, but still standing is enough.
And she’s not done yet.
“Maturity isn’t something you plan.
It’s what life demands when love, duty, and dreams
all pull at you, at the same time.”
So no, I’m not the same girl anymore. But through the quiet resilience of motherhood, I’m becoming someone stronger, softer, and more capable.
And if you’re there stuck between exhaustion and hope,
You’re growing too.
Baby steps matter.
Stolen minutes matter.
Trying despite the chaos matters.
I don’t know what lies ahead.
But I do know this:
I’ll keep walking toward it, one small step at a time.
Because I owe it to my dreams. And to the woman I’m still becoming.
💬 Your Turn: Share Your Journey
Are you balancing motherhood, career, and personal growth too?
I’d love to hear from you.
Drop a comment below, or share this post with someone who needs this reminder:
You’re doing better than you think.
HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGED ME : CAREFREE TO CAPABLE
Also Read – FOR THE MAN WHO MADE ME STRONG – MY FATHER – MERE ABBA
Check out my book ‘THE TREE AND THE WIND’ on Kindle
Check out my book ‘ISHQ-E-SAFAR’ on Amazon
